


A Little out of the Ordinary

by VintageSquid



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Blood, Blood Drinking, Dogs, Fae & Fairies, Immortality, M/M, Multi, Mythology References, Nonbinary Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Polyamory, Sander Sides Secret Santa 2019, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Vampires, romantic lamp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21856321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VintageSquid/pseuds/VintageSquid
Summary: A vampire and their host, a singer and the fae he sold his soul to. When two unusual couples become one unorthodox group, they don't care what humans would consider 'normal' for a first date.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, LAMP - Relationship
Comments: 15
Kudos: 153
Collections: Sanders Sides Secret Santa 2019





	A Little out of the Ordinary

**Author's Note:**

> Happy holidays!! My Secret Santa submission for @ mintydoesart on tumblr! I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> See the end notes for the translations of their endearments!

The sun was a few hours past its zenith, dipping closer to the horizon but still managing to shine through the cloud cover which had brought a dreary drizzle over the city for most of the day. In the golden rays sneaking through his storefront window, Patton danced around full blooms and under hanging vines, skillfully wielding his watering can while whistling to the greenery filling the room. 

The cool scent of petrichor filled the room, sourced not from wet soil, but from the florist himself as he encouraged his plants to flourish in the gift that was the cool rainwater he collected from the basins out back. 

To his beloved customers, who returned time and time again for the lush, hardy plants he offered, eager to learn just how he achieved such growth, he said the secret was in this water. While not a complete lie, Patton didn’t want it to get out to the general public that their favourite florist was actually a Spring fae, thousands of years old, and fluent in the fluttering language of flora. It was far more easy to nurture a plant to its fullest when you could understand exactly what it needed from you.

Even easier yet was stealing parts of his customers’ names, luring them back again and again to care for his precious children in their own homes for him. 

The day had been a quiet one for business, as humans did not seem to appreciate being out in the rain and getting wet in the same way as the Seelie. Thank the Royal Court that Patton’s partner loved to dance in the rain with him; perhaps he should close early and see if Roman had finished his rehearsals for the day… 

Just as the thought crossed his mind, the front door was thrown open, a person crashed into the store, dripping wet, eyes panicked and wide behind the bangs plastered to their forehead. Their chest was heaving like they had sprinted here from a great distance, but - Patton cocked his head to the side as he regarded the stranger - there was no air being pushed or pulled into their body.

Beyond that, Patton was struck by how handsome they were, even in their state of disarray and panic. Their bright hair, reminiscent of the gorgeous blue lotus flowers that Pat had upstairs in the apartment, was a stark and wonderful contrast to the warm chocolate tones in their skin. They were dressed in all black, but for a unique sash slid through the belt loops of their skinny jeans and tied on their left hip to hang down to their knee. The edges were lined boldly in gold, and around their waist were squares of green, red, and blue, with thinner lines of gold between them. Where the sash hung free from the knot, a deep blue colour dominated until mid thigh, where the remainder shone the same brilliant gold as above. 

Letting the door shut behind them, the curious figure rapidly glanced around the shop, stilling only when their eyes landed on the burly florist. There was a brief pause as their eyes met, before the stranger darted over faster than any human could conceivably move. They stopped mere inches before their feet would have crashed into Patton’s, muscles visibly trembling in the short distance between them as they finally spoke, looking down at their hands and gesturing wildly. 

“Thank Anpu you’re still open! I need your help, and I ran all the way here from the cabin - I mean! Hah! I didn’t run! That’s crazy! Humans can’t run that far - and I’m human, I should know! Fuck - ignore everything I just said. I need your help, please! It’s an emergency!” 

“Whoa, whoa! Easy there, kiddo!” Patton took the stranger’s (much smaller, oh daisies they were so cute!) hands in his own, running his thumbs over the other’s knuckles in what he hoped was soothing for the bedraggled man in front of him. He couldn’t help but note just how very cold the stranger’s skin was. Sure, Patton ran warmer than most mortals, but if he didn’t know any better, he’d say the person in front of him was dead! But he did know better; something more odd than a tulip with thorns was afoot here. 

Focus Pat! Ponder later, help now! 

“Just take a deep breath, alright?” And wasn’t that just an ironic request. Still, the stranger nodded, closing their eyes and going through the motions of breathing, pushing their chest in and out as if expanding under the pressure of air. “There we go. Now, what’s got you so riled up?” 

Blinking their eyes open again, the stranger glanced up at Patton’s face for the first time. They blinked again, eyes widening, and Patton was sure the palest pink peony blush would kiss across their cheeks, an almost indiscernible tint on that chocolate skin, any moment now. But the physiological reaction that (in Patton’s experience with humans - specifically his romantically over-inclined partner) always accompanied such an expression, never came. Instead, the stranger leaned back, their eyes seeming to feast upon the florist’s broad shoulders and muscular arms, traveling down to where their hands were still joined. They stilled for a moment, before snapping their gaze back up to Patton’s forest green eyes.

They took another breath, still absent of oxygen, and finally began to answer. 

“I really need some flowers. I- I need to help, uh, a friend find the perfect bouquet as a part of the surprise for their four- forty year anniversary. I, uh, they forgot the centerpiece to the whole set up and their husband is going to be home soon and I don’t know what to get!” 

“Okay, okay, easy there, we can get this sorted out nice and easy. Now, can I have your name?”

“Uh.. Virgil? I’m nonbinary, they/them.” 

“Alrighty then, Virgil -” The person in question didn’t even flinch at the use of their name, and Patton could feel none of the magic normally associated with the theft of even a partial name - very curious. Like the pro he was, however, the Seelie continued without a visible falter. “You can call me Patton! Patton Patters! A name so nice, you say it twice!” 

He giggled at his own pun, still just as tickled over it as the day he had chosen the moniker, and smiled even wider at the quiet, huffed chuckle he got from Virgil. Another lover of wordplay! Excellent! 

“Why don’t you come sit down, and I’ll put together that will make your, as you say, friend’s partner smile, mkay?” 

Leading Virgil behind the counter, Patton urged them onto the stool, giggling as they started to rock on the uneven legs Pat had never gotten around to fixing. Then he turned to face his beloved plants, tapping his fingers against his cheek as he tried to decide which of his beauties would be leaving tonight. A cheerful whistle filled the shop, Patton’s way to speaking to the eagerly trembling foliage, the fae weaving his way through the aisles and plucking perfectly prepared sprigs as he went. 

Gladiolus first, for the centerpiece. Their name meant ‘sword’, which came from that funny Latin language a few thousand years ago, as well as their long, slender shape. They were often used in celebration of fortieth anniversaries and remembrance of old bonds, while their rapier-like form represented how the receiving-partner had pierced the giving-partner’s heart. Patton lovingly selected a blue bundle, the blooms singing to his ears to be chosen. 

Next, a handful of cream coloured tulips. A simple choice, perhaps, but Patton had a nagging feeling that their whispers of ‘I will love you forever’ were well fitted for this unknown couple. 

Finally, nasturtium, to hug the bouquet with a petal’s kiss. These gorgeous lovelies represented a couple’s victory together. Usually red flowers were used in association with a wedding anniversary, but a stalk of purple grew over all others in its desperation to be chosen and, well, who was Patton to neglect such an act? 

It wasn’t the most traditional looking bouquet, but he had never been concerned with silly little things like human traditions. The way of the fae was so much better, after all. 

Returning to the counter, Patton smiled - a bit too wide for his face - and set the flowers down with a flourish. 

“Tah-dah! One bouquet, as promised!” He began to intricately wrap tissue paper and ribbon around the stems, watching Virgil’s face as he worked, hands moving confidently on their own. “I’m sure your partner will love it!” 

“Uh - my friend’s partner,” Virgil corrected, glancing away and back again. 

Patton’s eyebrow rose as he blinked slowly at his mysterious visitor. “Right,” he deadpanned before finishing the wrapping and breaking into another dazzling smile. “There! All set to go!” 

Virgil gaped at the unusual, but undeniably perfect, bouquet and scrambled to fetch their wallet. “Holy shit you’re good! How much do you want? You’re such a life saver, I’ll pay whatever the cost -” 

“Monetary payment won’t be necessary tonight; this one won’t cost you a penny,” the florist cut in, shoving the artfully wrapped flowers into Virgil’s arms. There was something deeper, more intimate, behind this quest for flowers than Virgil was saying, and Patton had always been a sucker for a romantic mystery. Besides - “I sure would like to see you here again soon.” He leaned on crossed arms over the counter, grin softening as his eyes feasted upon Virgil’s features. “If you would like to come back and visit little ol’ me sometime, of course.” Still no blush, no racing pulse, how intriguing… 

“Um- heh, yeah, that - that sounds really nice, actually.” 

“Good.” Patton cocked his head to the side, swooning further with a besotted sigh. He blinked down with a small, surprised “Oh!” when he felt the whisper of a caress at his elbow. A yellow daffodil had crept along the tabletop, growing longer until it could nudge against the fae. Picking it up, Patton cooed as the stem broke off and closed itself at the base: a willing sacrifice. He sniffed it delicately, before reaching out, pressing it to Virgil’s cheek in a petal-soft kiss, and tucking it behind their ear. “Yellow daffodils,” he murmured, almost to himself. “They represent strength, resilience, and new beginnings.” 

Shaking himself mentally, he focused back on those gorgeously dark eyes. “My best wishes to you - and your friends. A love that has lasted for so long is something to be celebrated and cherished.” He smiled again, his inner mind overlaying wild curls and warm smiles with this chocolate beauty (oh he was hopeless!), and bopped Virgil on the nose. 

Almost comically, Virgil’s eyes followed his finger, crossing in the middle. Was that a squeak? Ah, daisies and dandelions that was a squeak! Then, they cleared their throat and slid off the stool to edge around the counter - and Patton - shuffling towards the door. “Well! Thank you, again, so much, for the bouquet. Seriously, you’ve helped make tonight perfect. I should really be going though - gotta get these flowers where they need to be, after all!” 

“Of course! Merry met, Virgil!” 

With a lopsided grin and two-fingered salute, Virgil was gone, darting out of the store and down the street faster than the eye could follow. As soon as they were gone, Patton couldn’t hold it in anymore. He squealed loudly, clutching his chest and dancing in place with a smile wider than any mortal face could encompass. His plants quivered around him, cheering him on in their own silent language. 

Locking the door, he tossed his apron on the counter and dashed through the back of the store and up the stairs to the apartment he shared with his first love. Patton burst into the living space with a call for his beloved. 

“Ahh! My little turtle dove! I’m in love!” 

Roman had set down his cooking utensils as soon as he heard the excited footsteps clambering up the stairs, smiling as he wiped his hands on his apron. Just as he stepped out of the kitchen, Patton was throwing himself into Roman’s arms. Catching his darling fae, Roman laughed and spun them around with hands held securely under Pat’s thighs, dancing them into the living room. 

“Oh? Which little morsel has caught your eye now, _mi orsetto_?” Roman nuzzled their noses together, sitting on the couch with Patton in his lap, their hands now joined as the fae wiggled with excitement. His darling Spring tended to fall hard and fast, leading them to share more than a few romantic flings throughout the centuries together. But even then, Roman was always the one to hold Patton’s heart entirely. 

“One of the most handsome people I have ever laid eyes on - though no one could ever compare to you, my beauty - they just came into the shop! They were on a quest for a bouquet for an anniversary of a ‘friend’.” Patton leaned back to give the appropriate air quotes, trusting Roman would hold onto him and support his body weight easily. “The plants seemed to know otherwise, because the bouquet they called to make was clearly for that stunning bloom. I hope they and their partner are open to group loving! I want to introduce you!” 

Roman grinned and tenderly kissed his Spring. “I would bet the store that they’re still thinking about you too. Anyone would be, after meeting you.” The moment paused as they touched their foreheads, sharing their love through the breath between them. Lost in his love’s eyes, Roman was shaken from his literal reverie by the growling of his stomach. Patton giggled loudly at his darling’s blush. 

“C’mon, you.” Roman picked him up again and headed towards the kitchen. “I made steaks for dinner - yours is extra rare, just as you like it.

Patton couldn’t help but grin, the expression pulling too wide, and his teeth too sharp, to be anything but inhuman. 

\-------

The silvery light of the evening shone over the water, bright and blessed by Khonsu, deity of that very same moon, though he had long been forgotten by all but the ancient Egyptians - and the pair currently curled together on the beach. With a blanket to protect them from the sand, a small fire crackling nearby - more for aesthetics than any real need for warmth - and the tide low enough to not be of concern, Virgil and Logan were more than happy to devote their undivided attention onto one another. On the blanket, too, were the remains of a supper, with only one plate, and two half-drunken glasses of red wine, though one was darker and more viscous than the other. Nearby lay a book, bookmarked two-thirds of the way through, and a gorgeous bouquet of gladiolus, nasturtium, and tulips. 

The pair were reclined together, pillows surrounding them, cushioning them as they looked up at the stars, Canis Minor twinkling back down at them. Virgil was snuggled against their husband, head tucked against his chest. They briefly tipped up to kiss the bite marks on Logan’s neck, usually covered by his collar and tie, or the occasional turtleneck, but now exposed for Virgil to worship. 

“Happy anniversary, _hayat alby_. Here’s to another four thousand years of happiness together,” Virgil murmured, rubbing their nose against Logan’s cheek in a lethargic nuzzle. 

Holding Virgil a little closer in his arms, giving a gentle squeeze, Logan hummed quietly and pressed a tender kiss to the top of their messy blue hair. “Happy anniversary, _rohi_. Thank you for the wonderful surprise, and the stunning flowers. I am relieved the weather cleared up as well; it’s been too long since we’ve had a chance to stargaze together. It’s a nice treat for the girl’s to play in the waves, too.” 

The couple peeked up at their pair of Tesem hounds romping around in the water, their lithe, unique builds allowing them to sprint after one another in their play. As if feeling the two watching them, both dogs stopped and perked their ears in the direction of their people. Logan and Virgil only had a moment to prepare before the two wet hounds were leaping on top of them and covering them in loving, slobbery kisses. 

“Ack! Khufu! Akbaru! Heel!” Virgil cried out, covering their head - and hiding a smile - with their arms. The hounds obediently backed off, sitting on the blanket, their tails wagging fast enough to slap Logan’s calf repeatedly. Grumbling, Virgil pushed themselves upright before helping Logan find his glasses, cleaning them carefully and sliding them on their husbands face. There was a beat of silence as they made eye contact, then the pair burst into laughter, leaning heavily on one another as they were overtaken by the ridiculous situation. 

When they finally calmed enough for Logan to breathe evenly again, he took one look at their bedraggled states and cleared his throat. He gestured to the wet dogs and their now equally wet clothes. “Allow me. I believe I have something to remedy this situation.”

He exhaled deep and long, as if clearing his lungs of any remnants of air, before drawing back in a full breath. Muttering a few words, he blew out once more, heavy and fast, like he was attempting to blow out a cake covered in candles. The tips of the nearby trees began to quiver and sway as a breeze picked up, moving quick enough to wick the moisture from their clothes without ruffling them any more aggressively. Then, just as suddenly as it had arrived, it was gone again, leaving behind a calm night air. 

“Nice one, Lo, you’re getting better at that.” 

Logan cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses with a small, but proud, smile. “Ah, thank you, beloved. I have found the element of air to be the easiest to work with, surprisingly.” 

Even Virgil looked impressed at that. “No kidding? I would have thought for sure that earth would be your calling, Mr. serious-and-stubborn-Shae,” they teased with a smirk. 

Logan’s smile softened into something fond and indulgent, before he tilted Virgil’s face up with a knuckle under their chin. “What can I say, Mx. Shae? I lose my head in the clouds when I’m with you.” Admiring the twitching expression he knew to be his husband’s equivalent of a blush - he had been the cause of it countless times, after all - Logan leaned in for a kiss so tender and loving, like their very first millennia ago. 

They drew back, touching their foreheads together for an eternal moment, lost in the endless expanse captured in the eyes of their truest love. Sneaking one more kiss, they moved apart only far enough to resituate themselves in their pillow nest, this time with Khufu and Akbaru snuggled up with them. Virgil lay their head over Logan’s still beating heart and traced swirls over the exposed skin of his opposite hip, where his shirt had tugged up. 

“I met someone today,” they murmured into the peaceful quiet of the night. 

“Oh?” 

“Mhm, when I was picking up the bouquet for you. The florist made it for me, and gave it to me for free. He knew exactly what I wanted - and even I didn’t know what I wanted! I think he was some sort of dryad or nymph? Lots of plant energy, y’know?” Turning to look up at their husband, another not-blush pulling at his face. “Very cute, and very much your type too.” 

Logan blinked in surprise before melting into a smirk, nuzzling their noses together and holding his husband a little tighter. “Why Virgil, are you suggesting, on the eve of our four thousand year anniversary, that we proposition another? The scandal! Imagine what Anubis would have to say if he could hear you!” Khufu and Akbaru perked at the name, jumping away with excited yips as Virgil cried out in complaint. 

“Loooo! I cannot believe you just brought my dad into this!” They playfully shoved at Logan’s shoulder, careful of their own strength, before the pair dissolved into giggles together. Slumping on top of Logan, Virgil crossed their arms over his chest and propped their chin on the back of their hand. “You’re not really upset, right?” 

Holding Virgil’s waist with one arm, Logan ran his free hand through their brightly dyed hair. “I promise, I was only teasing; I’m not upset. The timing may seem inappropriate to anyone else, but I have known you for many times longer than any human would know their true love. I trust you. I know you would not be unfaithful to me. If anything, I am intrigued. It’s not often someone catches your eye, especially so quickly. I would enjoy assisting you in courting this… what did you say his name was?” 

“Patton. He called himself Patton.” 

“Called himself..?” Logan leveled his love with another look. “And you call yourself an immortal vampire. _Rohi_, I believe you met one of the gentry, not a simple nature spirit. Most likely one of the Seelie court, perhaps a Spring, if he’s working with growing plant life.” 

Virgil gaped, mouth opening and closing a few times in succession, then buried their face into Logan’s chest as he laughed, not unkindly, at them. “I swear on the Nile, I am an idiot,” they muttered, voice muffled by the soft blue sweater their husband wore. 

“Perhaps, but you are my idiot.” 

Peeking up with a glare that carried no heat, Virgil stole a kiss and settled down again, rolling their eyes. “So will you help me?” 

“Only if you intend on sharing.” 

Virgil braced up on an elbow and caressed his love’s cheek. “Until death do us part, and for an eternity afterwards, _hayat alby_.” 

\------

In the early hours of the morning, after the pair had packed away the leftovers of their picnic and called the dogs back inside, Virgil and Logan curled together on their couch and began to plan their grand courtship of the handsome fae. 

That was how the vampire found themselves awake early for a second day in a row, though for them that meant it was around early evening. They thanked their father under their breath for the overcast weather still casting its gloomy shadows over the city, allowing them to visit the flower shop before it closed. Walking as quickly as they dared with humans milling about on the streets, Virgil clung to a small terracotta pot with both hands, rhythmically tensing with anxiety before easing their grasp so they didn't shatter their gift. A small blue barrel cactus was nestled inside, a few small, yellow flowers beginning to bloom at the top. It had been Logan's idea, a gesture of intention that had died out of use by most mortals, but continued to live on in the millennia old couple. Virgil could only hope Patton wasn't insulted by the gift, or even worse, judged them for such a small plant when the Seelie's own shop was over-abundant with growth. 

They glanced up at the high ringing of a store-front bell, a stranger paying them little attention as they departed the flower shop. No more time. They had arrived. 

With one last breathless-sigh to settle their shoulders, Virgil pushed the door open and stepped inside. The store looked much the same as it had during their last visit, not even twenty-four hours ago, though this time there was no Patton in sight. Biting their lip, Virgil walked down the first aisle, glancing around as they went. 

\-----

Roman knelt as he counted the bills before removing them from the register, taking care of the front of the shop while Patton had an evening conversation with the carnations. They had been upset by a rude crow and he was calming them down, though to hear Patton's lament it was as if someone was bullying his child! The singer chuckled and shook his head. Patton had so much heart, he couldn't give it away fast enough!

Roman froze when he heard the bell ring, groaning internally. It was dark out already, who could it be at this hour? Maybe if he pretended no one was here, the late customer would leave and he could close early! He bit his lip to keep from grinning too widely at his perfectly planned plot, until - 

"Um... hello? Patton? It - It's Virgil. Are you there?"

Not a random customer, an acquaintance! How rude he was being to one of Patton's friends! How dare he! Roman shot up as fast as he could, voice loudly and congenial. 

"Ah my good friend, let me grab him for-" His eyes widened at the sight of the startled patron who fit Patton's starry-eyed description of the stranger from last night to a tee. Bitten lips, bangs falling in front of their face, clothes darker than the night, and - was that a present? A cactus present!? A large, satisfied grin took over the singer’s face. The romance of the moment was entirely too much for him as he leaned over the counter, almost, but not quite, knocking over several things in his efforts to appear charming.

Virgil jumped back as a man shot up from behind the counter, nearly tripping over their own feet in their hurry to get away. Clutching the cactus to their chest - which would have been rapidly hyperventilating if they could breath - the vampire gaped as the newcomer draped over the counter like he owned the place. Well, maybe he did, if he were another one of the fair folk with Patton. He was certainly just as attractive with his tanned skin, modern-styled pompadour, and warm brown eyes Virgil could absolutely see themselves getting lost in. 

The man certainly wasn't as graceful as Patton, however, nearly knocking over a large jar of brightly coloured decorative pebbles. Virgil winced as the jar tipped before settling again; they did not want to have to explain why it was vital they count every single one of those stones if they spilled. 

“Virgil, wasn't it?” The mystery man cut into their thoughts. “Patton spoke very fondly of you, and I would have to agree with his descriptions, handsome. You just wait right there like the absolute gem that you are, and I'll fetch him for you." Roman looked Virgil over shamelessly, admiring his love's taste. Then, with a blown kiss, he disappeared into the back, all pretenses gone as he excitedly skipped up the stairs to their apartment.

"Darling! I have something much better than carnations for you~!"

\-----

Virgil had just enough time to catch the man's elevator eyes and flirtatious wink before he was gone, darting into the back room behind the counter.

Awkwardly standing in the middle of the shop alone, Virgil rocked on their heels before shuffling towards the counter. They held their gift safely with one hand, tucked against their middle, while the other, freed, reached to run the pads of their fingers down the soft petals of a lynchpin bloom growing nearby.

"Aren't you a pretty one," they murmured with a small, nostalgic smile. "I used to have a whole garden of you when I lived in Egypt..."

\---- 

Roman's gushing was so close to incoherent that Patton had to hush him with a sweet kiss before the message came across. Virgil. Downstairs. 

Cactus?

In a literal blink of an eye, the fae was standing in the doorway between home and store, his glamoured wings all but vibrating against his back. A shocked smile slowly lifted the edges of his breathless gasp. Virgil had sought out the lynchpin near his window, affectionately and carefully brushing his fingers over it. The plant (the fae could tell) was beaming at the attention, and that private little smile... Patton swore he could melt right then and there. 

"Virgil... It's so good to see you again!" He came out from behind the counter, looking down at this precious preternatural person with an excited giggle. "After dark as expected," he added with a wink, before his attention was drawn to the adorable little succulent in his visitor's hands. "And you've brought a friend! Oh, she’s so lovely and round!"

Virgil startled a second time at the sudden appearance, fighting back a small smile as they recognized the fae who had popped in next to them. Patton was just as gorgeous as he had been last night - even more so now, in fact, as Virgil didn’t have the weight of panic hazing his vision - with his tall stature and broad shoulders, his freckle kissed skin, and those muscular arms that looked like they could lift Virgil easily and protect them from wooden stakes and people who hated Brenden Urie. 

Biting their lip as they daydreamed, Virgil was jolted back to awareness when their fang nicked a little too deep. They cleared their throat, realizing Patton had been standing in silence with a besotted-looking smile while he waited for Virgil to reply. 

“Uhhh- Yes! Hi! For you!” Thrusting the cactus forward, Virgil didn’t release their grip on the pot until they were certain Patton had it safely cradled in his large hands, so gentle despite their size…. 

“Oh! Thank you so much! She will look wonderful on the kitchen ledge!” He pressed a kiss to the air just above her needles. “I think I’ll name her Blue, both for her species, and to remind me of the handsome fellow who brought her to my home.” Patton winked, admiring Virgil’s stunning hair and setting the pot carefully on the countertop before turning back to them with a bright smile. 

“So do you make a habit of giving the gifts of charming plants and your good looks to all the florists you meet, or am I special?” The fae grinned flirtatiously, cocking his head to the side. As if Ra were blessing Virgil’s choice, or teasing his great great great great grandson’s son (probably both, truthfully), a thin ray of sunlight seemingly appeared from nowhere, kissing across those cheeks full of smiles and mischief. Patton seemed to glow ethereally before Virigl’s eyes. 

“You are very special,” they whispered, the corners of their mouth twitching as they realized what had just snuck past their lips. Well, when in Rome, right? Straightening their shoulders, Virgil reached out and gently took both of Patton’s hands in their own, smiling softly as the fae gasped with stars in his eyes. “When I came here last night, I was actually looking for a bouquet for my husband…. it was our four thousand year anniversary.” When Patton only nodded, unbothered by the admission, Virgil felt one of the knots in their chest slide loose. “I never expected to also find a handsome fae who could easily lift us both at the same time, and, well, I told him about you. Your smile, your kindness, did I mention your arms? I definitely told him about those too, like damn, Pat.” 

Patton giggled, slipping his hands free of Virgil’s so he could draw the shorter being close in a loose embrace. He booped the other’s nose with a finger before looping his arms around Virigl’s waist. “And what did your devoted husband have to say about all of this?” 

Not-blushing aggressively, Virgil leaned into the tall gentry and hummed. “He would love to meet you, actually. I came to invite you over for dinner with us tomorrow, so long as you don’t mind arriving around nine? Typical human supper time is just a little early for a.. a vampire, heh.” 

“Ohhhh! How did I not put that together!” Patton laughed, a warm, full sound that reverberated through Virgil’s smaller body. “I’ve been trying to figure it out, but it all makes sense now!” With a wide, accepting smile, the fae nodded eagerly. “Nine works just fine, if you don’t mind, I also bring along my partner? You met Ro earlier.” 

“The guy with the fancy hair?” Virgil lay their head against Patton’s chest, very pleasantly surprised to find they only reached the other’s collar bone, and easily found themselves picturing Ro joining them to complete a wonderful set of four. “Yeah, he is more than welcome to come over too.”

“Perfect! We will see you tomorrow then!” Patton all but squealed, leaning in to press an enthusiastic kiss to Virgil’s cheek and giggling loudly as the vampire all but short circuited. 

Virgil gathered themselves together long enough to scribble their address out on a scrap of receipt paper and daringly press a kiss to Patton’s cheek in turn, before they waved farewell and darted back out the door with a rushed, “Can’t wait! See you at dinner!” 

Once he was alone, Patton cradled the scrap of paper to his heart and sighed, smitten and soft, as he leaned against the counter. He grinned sappily when an arm slipped around his waist and a fluffy head of hair snuggled up on his shoulder. Kissing Roman’s head, Pat settled in against his beloved.

“That sounded like it went well,” Roman murmured, having been listening from just behind the back door the entire time. He kissed Patton’s cheek, linking their free hands together. “Should we wear those matching jackets tomorrow?” 

“Hmm I think I’m going to wear my nice sweater that matches the new dress I bought you.” 

Roman grinned, shifting to stand in front of his beloved and cup Patton’s cheeks. “I love the way you think, _mi orsetto_.” He dragged his partner into a tender kiss, melting as Pat tugged him closer. 

The shop did end up closing early that night. 

\-----

As soon as the car was settled into park and turned off, Roman checked his eyeliner one last time in his compact, tilting this way and that to examine the equality of his wings. Patton kissed his cheek. "Honey, put that away. You look perfect! And Virgil already thinks you're a tall drink of sparkling water~" Roman snapped it shut with a dramatic sigh, leaning against his partner.

"I know they do, but what if their husband has a more discerning eye?! You only get one first impression, and I want to knock their socks off!" The pair clambered out of the vehicle as Roman spoke, circling around the front to link hands and make their way up the gorgeously carved front steps of the cozy little cabin. Roman’s high-heeled pumps thunked satisfyingly against the wood with each step as his deep burgundy dress flowed around his ankles; a silken scarf draped over each elbow and around his back completed the ensemble. 

"Oh, you're right! Next time we can bring them new socks!! Virgil did gift us our precious Blue, and-" The fae stopped himself at the door and shook his head, fluffing out his oversized teal sweater and ensuring it was still tucked neatly into his pencil skirt. He wasn’t wearing any shoes. "-we're bringing them us in exchange tonight! I think we’re a pretty good gift!" The earnest shine in Patton's eyes was hard to argue with. Roman relented with a smile, reaching up to give him a proper kiss before ringing the doorbell.

They were greeted with the sounds of excited barking and nails scrabbling on the hardwood from behind the door before an unfamiliar voice called out, “Akbaru! Khufu! Heel!” There was a pause as the barking quieted, Patton and Roman glancing at one another then back at the still closed door. 

“Good girls. Now shoo, go get ren. You can visit our guests once they have settled in.” Two yips answered the voice before the dogs could be heard trotting away deeper into the house. Then the handle was turned, the door finally opened, and - the pair were left speechless at the sight of the man who greeted them.

Around the same towering height as Patton, who was a smidge taller than Roman, the man was more slim in frame. His long hair was tied into a neat braid that hung down the center of his back, the colour of the darkest midnight. He wore a dress shirt and tie, though the sleeves were neatly rolled up to show off a multitude of tattoos down his forearms, and the tie was patterned with the night sky. A handsomely cut face nodded to them with a polite smile. 

“Ah, you must be Patton and Ro, welcome. Please, come on in.” He stepped aside and gestured for the pair to enter. “You may call me Logan, I am Virigl’s husband.” 

Patton perked at the introduction, surprised to find, yet again, the name did not trigger any spark of Seelie magic within him. What a curious pair, these two. Smiling wide, the fae flounced into the entrance way, Roman easily keeping stride. “Hiya! It’s so nice to finally meet you! You’re even more handsome than we imagined!” 

They then got the honour of watching Logan flush a very attractive shade of red as he shuffled in place and fidgeted with his tie. “Ah, yes, well,” he cleared his throat, closing the door behind them. “I can certainly see why Virgil would not stop talking about either of you as well. It would seem my spouse has a type, if you will.” Logan gestured between himself and the pair, all of them standing nearly at eye level, whereas Virgil would be significantly shorter than all three. 

Roman snorted a laugh, muffling something behind his hand that sounded suspiciously like climbing them like an eager squirrel, but their mirth was cut short by the feisty vampire themselves. 

“Are you three going to stand by the front door all night, or will you be joining me on the back patio anytime soon?” Virgil smirked, crossing their arms and leaning against the wall. The trio turned together, eyes roaming up Virgil’s tightly fitted pants, over their usual sash tied in place at their hips, and up to their equally as black shirt and open hanging vest. 

“Oh Virgil,” Patton breathed, darting forward to cradle the now startled vampire in a loose embrace “Pecans and petunias! If I had known you could get even more attractive, I would have asked you out the first night we met!” 

Roman crowded in next, leaning his arm on the wall above Virgil and gazing down with so much adoration in his eyes, they swore they could see hearts rising behind his head. From where they were tucked into Patton’s perfect arms, Virgil had a wonderful view of Roman’s heart-stopping smile. 

“We meet again, fair prinx. I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself last we saw each other; you may call me Roman.” He winked, about to lean closer before Logan swooped in to save his husband from succumbing to a swoon. 

Pulling Virgil along with him, a soft, indulgent smile adorning his face, Logan pressed a tender kiss to his spouse’s besotted expression. “Come now, food is ready for us outside. Let us not tarry, else it will be too cold to enjoy.” With his arm snug around Virgil, Logan led them through the halls and kitchen to the back patio, looking over his spouse’s head to wink at the pair behind him. 

Patton and Roman shared a sappy, eager grin. They had shared many lovers over the years together, but humans could only last so long, and usually lost the pair’s interest long before then. Could this unlikely pair finally be their perfect matches? 

The question would have to be tabled for the time being, however, as a grand evening was literally laid out before them. Piled tastefully around a low standing table were large floor cushions of varying size, texture, and colour, with a collection of warmly glowing lanterns lighting the area. A number of dishes were set out, all sorts of meats and finger foods, with a couple bottles of wine to wash it down. One bottle was shorter than the others - perhaps a special blend? 

The hosts of the evening moved first, settling themselves comfortably onto a pair of cushions, Virgil tucking their legs underneath their rump before waving their hand at the spread. “Please, make yourselves at home?” 

Patton glanced to his beloved, smiling wide when he got a nod and grin in return. “If you say so!” He chirped at their dates, dancing over and scooping Virgil into his arms before sitting cross legged with the vampire in his lap. His arms draped over their legs, one thumb rubbing Virgil’s ankle where their pants had hitched up a little. “This okay? I can move if you’re uncomfortable.” 

Sneaking a look at Logan, who appeared to be smothering a laugh, Virgil huffed at their bangs and leaned back. Patton was warm and solid behind him, and created an amazing hide-out to sit on. “Nah, you’re good. This is pretty cozy, actually.” 

Meanwhile, Roman had approached a still chuckling Logan, and gestured to his lap. “May I?” 

Nodding, Logan gave his thigh a pat. “By all means, I am not bothered by the contact; I am far too old, and have been with Virgil for all but my youthful years, to be concerned over human standards of propriety.” 

As Roman settled himself comfortably, Logan leaned to the side, pressing his arm against Patton’s while the man in his lap carefully lay his legs with Virgil’s. The four of them here together like this, with the pair of dogs tucked around each other and snoozing on an opposing pillow, felt fundamentally right. 

Laying his cheek atop Roman’s head, Logan nuzzled him briefly before leaning forward for the bottles. “Would anyone care for a drink?” At the round of affirmatives, he skillfully poured three glasses of wine around Roman in his lap, and handed two to their guests. Setting his own aside, he reached for the shortest bottle and poured a fourth glass to hand to Virgil. 

“Whatcha got there, Virgil? Something a little stronger than the rest of us?” 

Virgil shared a smirk with their husband, sipping at their drink with a refreshed sigh. “Not quite,” they grinned, swirling their viscous red drink idly. “I can’t have any of the food you all get to enjoy; this is my drink and my meal. You could say Logan prepares it specially for me.” They took a longer drink, maintaining eye contact with Roman until the man smacked his own forehead. 

“Nevermind. Vampire, right. I’m a moron.” 

The group shared a laugh, before the three who could eat physical food tucked into the fancier snack-styled meal. As the others munched happily, Virgil enjoyed another sip of blood and laid their head back on Patton’s chest to look up. “So, how did you and Ro meet?” 

Patton sighed adoringly, resting his chin on Virgil’s head and gazing over at his partner. “Well, it was a long time ago. Roman wanted to be a performer, to sing for the crowds more than anything else in the world, but he fell dangerously ill as a child. He recovered, but his voice was never quite the same. So, he turned to the courts in the woods near his town. I was the one to make a deal with him: I would restore his voice even better than before, and in return, I could own a year of his life for every performance.” 

“At first I attended his shows to ensure my gift wasn’t being misused. But then… then I found myself falling for this silly little human. This man who had dared come to the fae for help, ultimately not for his own gain, but so he could perform and bring happiness to those around him. I was smitten.” 

Roman glanced over from where he was sharing food with Logan, grinning at his beloved before diving back into their culinary exploration. 

“I began to grow worried the more he performed, for crowds big and small, charming all of them and ensuring each one left for home with a little more joy in their lives. He owed me centuries, but when I finally confronted him about it, he said-” 

“I said that you already had my heart, and I wanted you to have the rest of my time for eternity as well.” Roman lay his head on Logan’s shoulder, reaching over to link his hand with Patton’s. “And I meant every word, _mi orsetto_. So this lovely fae, was swept off his feet, and we’ve been living happily ever after ever since. For every performance I give, my life is prolonged by another year because I can’t die until I pay my debts to Pat.” 

“Wow… that, is really gay.” Virgil cackled as Roman playfully kicked at them, tucking their legs up to hide in the safety of Patton’s lap. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Lo and I have an equally sappy story,” they laughed, the rough housing settling down. 

“You two know I’m a vampire, but I’m technically also a minor deity. Anubis is my dad. This sash was actually his, and it’s all I have left of his physical form.” Virgil waved the end of the band around his hips, smoothing his fingers over it in his lap. “I can always head to a local cemetery to summon him for a chat, if I really need.

Way back in Egypt, when people still worshipped him properly, Logan was a priest chosen for the sacred and honorable duty as consort to the gods. Basically it meant he got to give his life blood to sustain me in the mortal world, and in turn our bond keeps him immortal too. Same as you two, what started as a transaction turned to fondness and love. By the time the pharaohs had fallen, Lo proposed and together we escaped a changing Egypt to travel the rest of the world. Akbaru and Khufu,” they nodded towards the Tesem hounds, “were gifts from my father and our other closest companions.” 

“It has been four million years of adventure, that’s for certain,” Logan murmured, leaning forward to smooch his spouse. “The titles of host and husband fit me well, but…” He snuggled Roman closer in his lap and leaned further into Patton’s side. “Maybe it’s time to add a few more?” 

As one, the quartet shifted nearer to one another, limbs tangling together in a goofy, ridiculous pile for how nicely they had all dressed. Excitedly yipping, the pair of pups scrambled over to the pile, eager to join in the snuggles, squirming their way between bodies to lick their people’s faces. Laughter and shocked squeals rang out, the night air full of warmth and the blossoms of new love. 

A vampire and their host, a singer and the fae he sold his soul to. Two unusual couples merging into one unorthodox group. Tonight, they dined and laughed and learned. Years down the line, they would cry and smile and share vows over bands of copper fit perfectly onto left fingers.

**Author's Note:**

> mi orsetto - my little bear  
hayat alby - my heart's life  
rohi - my soul


End file.
